Reading an article titled Why It’s Easier to Love a Stepfather Than a Stepmother bought some emotions up inside me.
Written by Wednesday Martin who is the author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do
Number 2 on her list really hit home for me. It talks about ‘What makes it harder for a stepchild to accept a stepmother?’
This was, and still is, my biggest issue with my eldest stepdaughter Mae. She feels that if she’s friendly with me, her mother won’t like it. That she has to honor her mother by being awful to me. She has spoken about this with me, and I accept this, it’s just the next step of getting past it.
The counselor that we see has said this will be a problem forever and a day.
Sigh.
If the children could just realize that no one is asking them to love the step parent as their own parent, but just to respect them and be cordial would be nice.
That’s what I say to my skids, I’m not your mum, you have one of those, and I don’t want to be her. I am your step-mama, and that makes me special in my own right. They are really good about it, the bad influence comes from their birth mother, not from their own thoughts.
I almost feel guilty that they love me.